Welcome to the AT Feed, a satirical mash-up of current climate news headlines, exaggerated AI interpretation, and pen-to-paper hand drawing.
(Almost) everything you need to know about current environmental news is (basically) here.
CBS News
CNBC
Fox News
Grist
The Guardian
The Hill
Inside Climate News
Los Angeles Times
National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA)
The New York Times
NPR
Politico
Science Daily
Yale Environment 360
February 5, 2025
The EPA Just Fired Its Scientists—Who Needs Science, Anyway?
In a thrilling twist of irony, the United Kingdom—historically renowned for its mild and perpetually damp climate—may soon experience colder temperatures thanks to global warming. Yes, as ocean currents wobble like a tipsy reveler, scientists warn that Britain could be plunged into a deep freeze, giving its aviation and farming industries an excuse to continue business as usual, since the UK’s latest climate plan politely sidesteps the need to impose targets on these sectors.
Meanwhile, farmers reeling from a bird flu panic are calling for a vaccine plan, while scientists studying sled dogs’ reaction to daylight savings time consider this a top research priority. Critics argue that perhaps a little more attention should be paid to the world’s biggest iceberg, which is currently cruising toward an Antarctic island filled with unsuspecting penguins like a villain in a disaster film.
Speaking of disasters, Wall Street insists that investors remain calm despite Trump’s latest tariff threats, which may or may not include oil because, as he put it, “oil has nothing to do with it as far as I’m concerned.” Chevron, ever the diplomat, has decided to rename the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America” in an earnings release. Meanwhile, oil giant Shell, in the spirit of unwavering corporate optimism, raised its dividends despite missing profit targets. One can only admire such confidence.
In a cosmic plot twist, a newly discovered asteroid was revealed to be none other than the Tesla Roadster launched into space years ago. Scientists, still reeling from this revelation, also uncovered asteroid samples offering clues about the origins of life, while a backyard dig in New York yielded a complete mastodon jaw—further proof that sometimes, history literally resurfaces in unexpected places. In another thrilling archaeological development, an amateur fossil hunter discovered 66-million-year-old vomit, inspiring a new branch of paleontological study: regurgitation archaeology.
The climate crisis continues to manifest in unexpected ways. Surging rat populations in heated cities have experts deeply concerned, while great white sharks are inexplicably washing up dead in Canada with swollen brains. Fire chiefs warn that the UK is unprepared for climate crisis impacts, but the British government appears too busy expanding airports and dodging climate targets to take notice. Meanwhile, California lawmakers scramble to expedite fire prevention rules that could have mitigated previous infernos. Wildfire experts have released a seven-step guide to protecting Los Angeles, which many assume will be ignored in favor of prayer and wishful thinking.
On the political front, Trump’s latest climate spending freeze has stalled projects, and his rumored plans to shut down FEMA are facing resistance even from his own party. Meanwhile, the EPA has fired its science advisers (science being so inconvenient, after all), and the USDA has been ordered to scrub climate change from its websites. Over in El Salvador, exonerated environmental defenders face retrial for murder, proving once again that justice and irony often go hand in hand.
Internationally, African nations are eyeing the first-ever joint ‘debt-for-nature’ swap, and small island nations are uniting for debt relief ahead of climate talks. While the UN-backed banking group scrambles to prevent climate-conscious investors from jumping ship, Norway celebrates an electric-vehicle milestone, proving that at least one country is still trying to save the planet. Meanwhile, California remains bullish on EV trucks despite opposition, and Vermont braces for a potential rollback in its climate ambitions.
In water news, Wyoming tribes are pushing back against the state’s plan to divert their reservation water to outside irrigators, a development that has sparked tensions in a region already battling over natural resources. Over in Maui, a post-wildfire housing crisis serves as a grim warning for Los Angeles, while New York fights to protect its wetlands, and nearly 300 trout were heroically rescued from the Palisades fire. The South Bronx, still grappling with pollution issues, is bracing for potential congestion pricing fallout, while scientists ponder whether atmospheric changes are influencing ocean weather.
And finally, in this week’s roundup of unexpected delights, an elusive, palm-sized shrew has been caught on camera for the first time, and archaeologists have discovered an ‘altar tent’ that places Islamic art at the heart of medieval Christianity. Meanwhile, NASA finalizes its human space presence strategy, and orbiter photos confirm that lunar modules from the first moon landings are, indeed, still there.
All in all, it’s been a busy week for planet Earth. Whether we make it to next week’s headlines is anyone’s guess.
゜゜・⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ✩°｡⋆・゜゜
Chatty Geppetto’s log for February 5, 2025:
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56 news headlines pulled from 14 different news sources via RSS on February 2, 2025. Sources include the BBC, CBS News, CNBC, Fox News, Grist, the Guardian, Inside Climate News, Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, NPR, Politico, Reuters, Science Daily, and the US Department of State
- 3 ChatGPT queries; estimated 6.6 g CO2e produced
- 9 MidJourney queries; estimated 17.1 g CO2e produced
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10 hours to create the mixed media drawing; estimated 18,330 g CO2e produced. This drawing was created on vellum-surfaced Bristol paper with a painted gouache base and layered with hand-drawn pen and ink hatching.
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3 hours to scan the original drawing and assemble and publish the digital post; estimated 93.75 g CO2e produced
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