Welcome to the AT Feed, a satirical mash-up of current climate news headlines, exaggerated AI interpretation, and pen-to-paper hand drawing.
(Almost) everything you need to know about current environmental news is (basically) here.
CBS News
CNBC
Fox News
Grist
The Guardian
The Hill
Inside Climate News
Los Angeles Times
National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA)
The New York Times
NPR
Politico
Science Daily
Yale Environment 360
Texas Uranium Mines Are Back—Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
The world is on fire—or drowning in goat droppings, depending on where you look. From courtroom battles over climate change to NASA reconnecting with a decades-old spacecraft, humanity seems stuck between "we can fix this" and "let's just survive long enough to see how bad it gets."
At The Hague, the world’s biggest climate case has kicked off, pitting the planet’s future against decades of corporate spin. Activists hope the UN court will finally hold nations accountable, but cynics fear it’s just another headline-grabbing performance. The stakes? Binding targets to cut plastic production, slashing emissions, and answering whether a goat can truly be abandoned if it never belonged to anyone in the first place (yes, goats are involved—stay with us).
Meanwhile, Washington State is showcasing what climate action could look like if anyone were actually paying attention. The state’s blueprint tackles methane super pollutants, water access, and wildfire resilience, offering a glimmer of hope. But let’s not get carried away; New York is still wildly unprepared for its next wildfire season, despite glowing reports about the efficacy of biofuels and ethanol.
As South Australia, Victoria, and New South Wales brace for blackouts from too much solar power (yes, that’s a thing), the Midwest is busy investing in hydrogen hubs. Not everyone is sold on the “clean” part of the pitch, but hey, GE Vernova is ready to sprinkle nuclear reactors across the developed world, and Texas is dusting off its uranium mines for a nuclear renaissance. If you're not already glowing, just wait.
And let’s not forget the glowing sea slug—newly discovered in the ocean’s midnight zone—because at least the deep sea is still serving up surprises while the rest of the world battles plastic pollution and wildfires.
NASA has successfully reconnected with Voyager 1 using ancient tech straight out of a sci-fi prequel, while the U.S. military’s abandoned “city under the ice” reminds us that Cold War relics are, apparently, still a thing. If that wasn’t strange enough, Earth said goodbye to a “mini-moon” asteroid that promises a return visit in 2055, presumably to check on whether we’ve learned anything.
And in case you’re hungry, NASA is dishing up space food for future interstellar missions. Maybe we can live off freeze-dried goat stew while we wait for China’s automakers to deliver us to Mars.
Saudi Arabia, leading a global pushback against a plastic treaty, reminded everyone at this year’s climate talks that cash still trumps conscience. The $300 billion climate deal? It’s divisive, with small islands and African nations scrambling to secure debt-for-nature swaps while larger players bicker over who picks up the tab.
Closer to home, abandoned goats, hungry pigs, and biofuel-powered wildfire mitigation are the new frontier in climate solutions. Pumpkins are now landfill diversions for pig feed, and California’s wolf population is booming—because at least some animals are thriving in this mess.
As Indigenous advocates pin their hopes on Brazil for 2025 climate talks, and Harvard doubles down on emissions reductions, the rest of us are left wondering if it’s all too little, too late. Elevated radiation levels at a Bay Area landfill turned art park suggest that even our most creative solutions come with glowing side effects.
In the end, the goats, the glowing slugs, and the wolves might have the last laugh. As nations sprint to cut methane and battle plastic waste, one truth stands out: Earth doesn’t need us to survive. It’s just politely waiting for us to get our act together—or go extinct trying.
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Chatty Geppetto’s log for December 6, 2024:
- 56 news headlines pulled from 14 different news sources via RSS on December 2. Sources include the BBC, CBS News, CNBC, Fox News, Grist, the Guardian, Inside Climate News, Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, NPR, Politico, Reuters, Science Daily, and the US Department of State
- 3 ChatGPT queries; estimated 6.6 g CO2e produced
- 4 MidJourney queries; estimated 7.6 g CO2e produced
- 5.5 hours to create the mixed media drawing; estimated 10,083 g CO2e produced. This drawing was created on vellum-surfaced Bristol paper with a painted gouache base and layered with hand-drawn pen and ink hatching.
- 2.5 hours to scan the original drawing and assemble and publish the digital post; estimated 78.13 g CO2e produced
Learn more about the AT Feed process »