Welcome to the AT Feed, a satirical mash-up of current climate news headlines, exaggerated AI interpretation, and pen-to-paper hand drawing.
(Almost) everything you need to know about current environmental news is (basically) here.
CBS News
CNBC
Fox News
Grist
The Guardian
The Hill
Inside Climate News
Los Angeles Times
National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA)
The New York Times
NPR
Politico
Science Daily
Yale Environment 360
June 18, 2024 [Summer pilot, test 1]
NASA Predicts Cosmic Explosion as 7-Foot Fish Stuns Shoreline
In a world where the news is stranger than fiction, the latest headlines paint a picture of chaos, intrigue, and sheer absurdity. It seems that while scientists debate whether animals are conscious, Antarctic whales are busy perfecting their underwater acrobatics, as captured by drones. The BBC, not to be outdone by nature's performers, uncovered a staggering 6,000 illegal sewage spills in just one year—proving once again that our environmental policies might just be going down the drain.
In an ironic twist of fate, explorer Shackleton's last ship was found on the ocean floor, a ghostly relic of human ambition amidst our current environmental follies. Meanwhile, scientists are deploying cutting-edge technology to limit the spread of tropical diseases, perhaps hoping to avoid the deadly heat stress that experts warn is becoming more lethal by the day.
As if the news weren't explosive enough, NASA predicts a "once-in-a-lifetime" cosmic explosion this summer, likely to outshine even the rare 7-foot fish that recently washed ashore with a face only a mother could love. In financial headlines, a $40 billion crypto fraud has resulted in a $4.5 billion settlement, highlighting the lucrative business of legal trouble. Concurrently, used EV prices continue to plummet, and U.S. crude oil finally snapped a three-week losing streak, leading OPEC to call for more fossil fuel investment as they dismiss peak oil demand predictions.
In the realm of high-stakes tech, Bitcoin miners at a closed-door event with Donald Trump claim that cryptocurrency could help win the AI arms race—because nothing says future-forward like digital gold. Medical breakthroughs on the International Space Station, coupled with new research on how short-term space travel affects "space tourists," remind us that science is still boldly going where no one has gone before.
The environmental front is equally dramatic, with the plummeting Humboldt penguin population facing extinction, and the Joro spider spreading in the US. Yet, it's not the invasive species we need to worry about; it's the heatwave set to scorch 250 million Americans in the Midwest and Northeast.
As high-speed rail advocates proclaim "the time is right" for the US to catch up, Wisconsin Republicans block PFAS cleanup until polluters are granted immunity, showcasing the latest in political obstructionism. Native American tribes, however, secured the right to hunt gray whales off Washington's coast, a small victory in the battle for environmental justice.
New research reveals that most of the world's largest marine protected areas have inadequate protections, while the UN's new Special Rapporteur for Human Rights and Environment discusses landmark cases in Peru. In the political arena, Trump once promised to revive coal, but now rarely mentions it, as he rallies Republicans against Biden's energy policies and sidesteps the massive climate law.
In California, wildfires rage near Gorman and Sonoma, burning thousands of acres, while the state water agency's investigation into its top manager raises concerns about stalled progress. Meanwhile, El Niño exits stage left, and La Niña prepares to bring dry conditions back to California, because apparently, Mother Nature loves a dramatic plot twist.
As we brace for the coming heatwave and La Niña's impact on hurricane season, Bill Gates is betting big on nuclear power to save us all. Hawaii's endangered birds might just be saved by millions of mosquitoes, proving that sometimes the smallest creatures have the biggest impact.
In this topsy-turvy world, the headlines are a wild ride of environmental crises, political maneuvers, and technological breakthroughs. So, grab some popcorn, sit back, and watch the chaos unfold—because if there's one thing we can count on, it's that the news will always keep us on our toes.